Bite Me

Bite Me
(A Love Story #3)
by Christopher Moore
performed by Susan Bennett
Published 2010 by Recorded Books
8 hours, 4 minutes. Unabridged.
Rating: 4/5

The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. ‘Cept there’s no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they’re vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue.

Abby wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she’s really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there’s that vampire cat Chet, who’s getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non . . .

Before you can say “OMG! WTF?” Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby’s gay Goth friend Jared, and SF’s finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that’s when the fun really begins.

Not exactly how I was expecting this one to end, but still good. I will go ahead and admit I liked this one a little less than the second one. Abby’s still awesome, though.

The vampire cat thing was kind of funny at first, but it wore off fast with me. I guess it made things interesting. It’s about the only reason the Animals were still a part of the story. I kind of wish there had been a little more of them. The Animals were always one of the better parts of this series. At least there was plenty of Abby. She made this whole series for me. She’s was made the second book so hysterical. She still has it in this one, but it doesn’t quite click the same way. I also really like the two detectives, They’ve been a great part of the trilogy for me. Poor guys.

I have to say it. What the hell was up with that ending? I guess it’s just like Moore to go in a totally different direction than the one you’re expecting. It kind of disappointed me. I got over it quickly, because the ending wasn’t bad or anything. It was just… unexpected. I don’t know what I was expecting. I guess I won’t be making any assumptions in the future.

Susan Bennett did such a great job with these audio books. She was just perfect. If you’d like to try them out, I highly recommend the audio. She does such a great job with comic delivery. So funny!

This book contains explicit profanity, violence, and sexual content.

Source: Trussville Public Library. Trussville, AL.
Author’s website:
Purchase this book: Audible

Review of previous books in this series:
Bloodsucking Fiends | You Suck

Leave a comment


  1. I know exactly what you mean. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't what I expected at all. It just seemed detached to me from the previous book. And very rushed, so the unexpected things hit me and I was like, What just happened? And why?I see you're listening to Fool, though. That one's great! 😀

  2. Yeah, Fool is pretty enjoyable so far.

  3. I haven't read any of these books yet. However, my friend keeps telling me about them, so I'll eventually get around to reading them. It was great reading your thoughts on this one. Keep it shiny!

  4. I need to finish this series, only have listened to Bloodsucking Fiends, Love Christopher Moore, Lamb and A Dirty Job are two of my faves. Good Review!


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